The Secondary Effect Is Of Primary Importance

I've been a parent for nearly seven years, and one of the things I purposed even before I became a parent was to be a good example. Of course this is not just talking about being a good parent, but really about being the best human being I can be. It occured to me a while back, and still occurs to me today, that it's not enough to teach good lessons, but to be the lessons that we teach. For example, if you want your kids to grow up and not smoke, it's not enough that you talk about not smoking you've got to set the example by not smoking yourself. If you want your kids to exercise and be active, it's not enough to talk about those things you've got to exercise and be active yourself. Makes sense, right? But why is this so important?

Because the secondary or silent lesson that is being taught is of primary importance. Every time you teach someone a lesson and are being the lesson yourself, the underlying message that you're not saying but still sending is that you are a person of integrity. You practice what you preach, and because you are a person of integrity you can be trusted. It creates clarity for the people you are teaching. It creates an evironment of trust. You also are teaching the people that you value integrity. It seems that people learn values not so much through words, but through works.

Now, think back to when you were a child, especially as you became a teenager, wasn't it one of your biggest complaints about adults that they did not practice what they preached? It was for me. There's something about that just rubs people. Think about what happens if the above is true about being the lesson. If what you're teaching and doing are not lining up, then the underlying message you're sending is probably something like, "It's not important to do what you say." It certainly creates confusion, doesn't it? You also send the message that you don't value integrity, and this certainly creates an environment where lying becomes okay.

The questions are obvious, but I'll ask them anyways. Are your actions lining up with your words? What kind of environment have you been creating? What kind of environment do you want to create? Are you willing to critically examine yourself so that you start creating a high performance environment and culture for whatever level of organization you're leading? Until next time...

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