My Defective Travel Cup Part 2

So did you figure out what was going on? The first step to solving any problem I believe lies in the questions we ask. If we ask the poor questions then inevitably poor answers will come out of it, wouldn't it? If we ask better questions, we get better answers. Are you with me so far? Sometimes we only get to the better questions by struggling long enough with a series of poor questions, though. It's interesting how our education system puts a premium on knowing the "right" answers and is less than encouraging about asking a bunch of questions. Anyways, I digress, but on a similar vein...I once did a a very simple card trick for a friend of mine, and he asked me to do it again to figure out how I was doing it. I'm not a professional magician, so I broke the cardinal rule of magic and did it for him, again... and again and again. After a while he said something like, "I'm looking and looking, but I can't figure out how you're doing it. I'm really looking, too." I simply said, "What do you think you're looking for?" The truth is that many times in life we are looking for answers where we can't find them, not for lack of effort, but because we don't know what we're looking for... are you following me, here? Good, so here we go with the cup.

The first thing was what if there was nothing wrong with the cup? Then the issue lied with me, but what about me? Was I not using the cup correctly? Well, how could that be? I've been drinking out of cups most of my life, right? What if there was a design issue with the cup and the way that I used the cup was combining to create this issue? There was the answer, literally at the end of my nose. So what was the issue? The way I was using the cup and the way it was designed, when I tipped the cup to drink from it, my nose was covering the vent hole. This obviously restricted the flow, and when I pulled the cup away from my nose, just enough for the air to go through, this action caused a sudden surge of liquid to come pouring out when I wasn't expecting it to. This was what caused the spill. Problem solved! Now what possible life lessons come from this?

Well, I got some good lessons out of it, but for this time I'd like you to simply think it through for yourself and email me or comment on what you got out of this post, okay? That's all for now, and until next time...

Live FREE!

My Defective Travel Cup

I was having a cup of coffee this morning when I remembered something funny that happened a few years back that has a life lesson in it, so...

My wife decided to buy me a travel cup, one of those cups with a lid on it that keep your coffee warm. I'm not sure why, but it's probably because she loves me. :) I'm not all that in to gifts, but when I do get a gift I tend to use it right away and I use the heck out of it. When I got this travel cup I decided to brew a cup of coffee, just so I could use it. I was very excited to use my new cup! I poured the coffee in it, put in a bit of sugar and cream and went to take a sip. Much to my surprise, hardly any coffee came out. I literally had to suck on the opening of the cup for any decent amount of coffee to to come out of the cup. I thought perhaps I wasn't tipping the cup back far enough, so I tipped it back. Still hardly anything at all. Then, ust as I was pulling the cup away from my lips a bunch of coffee came pouring out. I now had coffee all over my face and shirt. Suffice it to say, I was a bit annoyed. I thought it strange, and quite frankly, I'm a bit of a slow learner, so I decided to take another sip. Wouldn't you know it...the same thing happened, again. Like I said earlier...me, slow learner...so I did it again and again, until I decided that there was something wrong with the cup. I decided to return the cup and get a new one.

A few days went by, and I hadn't returned the cup yet...it just wasn't that high on my list of priorities. Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning, I knew what was going on. I ran to the kitchen, took out the cup, poured some water in it and took a drink. This time it worked just fine, and I had figured out what was happening. I am happy to say that was over six years ago, and I have used that travel cup many times since with absolutely no problem whatsoever. So what was going on? I'll let you know tomorrow, but if you want to venture a guess, please do so. :)

Are you a lion or a LION?

The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book: The Undustrial Revolution! Enjoy, and until next time...

Live FREE!



As we get started here I want to discuss with you a few things, because as you get in to this book you’ll see yourself falling in to a few different categories. My goal in writing this was not to offend anyone; however, it is pretty apparent to me that some people might become offended. If you happen to be one of those people that become offended, please understand that I have no intentions of offending anyone with what I’ve written. Another group of people are those who will read this book, and do little or nothing with the information. They might even agree with a lot of what they read, but for whatever reason they’ll never do anything with it. The third group is predominantly whom this book was written for, and you’ll know if you belong in this group in a little bit.

Let me ask you a question, though, what makes a lion a lion? Would you agree that there is a difference between a lion in the wild and a lion that lives in captivity? Is a lion in captivity, one that has never lived in the wild, truly a lion? Yeah it certainly looks like one, doesn’t it? Which begs the question in my mind what is the difference between the two?

I don’t know if you’ve watched the movie Happy Feet, but in the movie the main character Mumble goes in search of finding the answer to the problem of shortage of fish to eat. Eventually he finds himself living in captivity, being fed all the fish he wants. When he first arrives in his captive environment he asks one of the other penguins, “Where am I?” and the other penguin answers back “You’re in heaven.” At first the environment makes no sense to Mumble at all and he tries to escape, but after a while his eyes glaze over, he becomes like all of the other captive and captivated penguins, merely existing in this environment, being fed when it’s feeding time, jumping in the water to swim around a bit, never having to worry about anything, not really accomplishing anything, surviving but I wouldn't say LIVING! One day he has a vision of his family that he left behind. He remembers why it is that he left them in the first place, and gets back on track with his mission and ultimately accomplishes it.

Back to the question about lions. If you were born in to captivity how would you know the difference between your existence and the existence of a wild lion? You’d never know, would you? You’d only know what you were missing once you saw the existence of a lion in the wild, wouldn’t you? Two lions that on the outside look the same, to the untrained person both would seem to represent the same danger. We do understand, though, they are not the same. The one in captivity, if it’s been in captivity long enough or it was born in captivity, is quite tame. It has the potential to be dangerous, but the higher likelihood is that it will never do any harm to anyone. The one in the wild, unlike the one in captivity is a completely different story. The one in the wild when it is hungry will find food. The one in captivity will wait for someone to feed it. Yes it is true that both are actually lions, but at the same time we could agree that they are not at all the same.

Now, let’s think about this. Two people look the same on the outside, yet what drives them are two different things. I’d like you to consider the possibility that most human beings at this point in history have been born in to captivity. That most people are sitting around waiting to be fed. I’d also like you to consider that most people also have a much greater potential than this, but that is in fact where they find themselves. Quite frankly, most people have never questioned this, and until they come across a person who is “wild” they never would even think about it. Here’s how you know if I’m talking to you. If you’re one of these people who are never satisfied, who sit around saying to yourself things like, “I know I’m capable of much more than what I’m currently doing.” Or “I want so much more than what I have.” You’re more than likely the person I’m writing this book for. If you’ve started more than one business and failed, but you keep telling yourself that the next one will be the one, you’re probably the person I’m writing this book for. If you’re cynical or think that it couldn’t possibly be you, then more than likely it’s not for you.

There’s nothing wrong with being a lion. Please don’t take this the wrong way. Plenty people are happy being a lion, living in captivity, living in safety and security, knowing when their paycheck is coming, being able to predict the next fifty years of life. Then again, there’s nothing right about this way of being either, and certainly there’s nothing wrong with being a LION. For some of us we’d rather live life on our own terms. We understand that living wild guarantees nothing, but we love being in the hunt. We know that we will experience hurts. We know that there will be times when we go hungry. We also know that it’s ultimately up to us, and we wouldn’t want it any other way. We may fall on our faces more than others, but we also know that we will experience the ecstasy of winning big. We love to win, hate to lose, but ultimately it’s the competition that drives us…to see what we’re made of.

So let me ask you are you a lion or are you a LION? If you’re the “right” person reading this book I will break down some very simple concepts and ideas along with some historical facts and truths that will forever alter your future…as long as you take action on what you read. I will also introduce you to some other LIONS, so that you can start identifying with these people. These are not the only LIONS in the world, but their stories of success, setbacks and SUCCESS will not only encourage you, but you will also be able to relate to them. Ultimately, I believe that everyone reading these words has the potential to be "dangerous" and my goal is to shake you up and arouse that spirit inside you.

Perhaps you’ve already decided that you’re not the person this book was written for. That’s too bad, because I know that deep inside you resides the spirit of a LION. Perhaps you’re not sure if you are or you are not. Either way, I would encourage you to finish this book. You may read something that ignites that spirit in you, and you’ve already come this far, why not just finish what you started, right? Are you ready? Because ready or not here we go...

GO!...FIGHT!...WIN!

Do you remember high school? Ok...you probably don't remember everything about high school, but what do you remember? What are some of your fondest memories? How about your first kiss? OK...maybe for you that was junior high or even elementary (I don't condone this behavior by the way :).

For me, some of my fondest memories from those years revolve around the game of football. I loved every minute of it. I loved the off season and staying in shape. I loved lifting weights, running, sprints. I loved "hell week" and the comaraderie with the other players. I loved practices. I even loved the sprints we had to run for punishment sometimes. I loved watching the other guys who were just going through the motions and learning about character. I loved the guys who always gave it their all and learning about work ethic and the value of hard work. Most of all, I loved Friday nights and the games played under the lights. I even played a couple years of college ball. I can honestly say that although I never reached the NFL like I dreamed of I have no regrets around the game, because I left it all on the field.

As we have already moved in to 2011, we are 33% of the way through the first month, I'd like to ask you and myself this question...Are we leaving it all on the field? Are we playing to win...with reckless abandon? or are we playing just to survive and get to half time? Are we even in the game?

On January 1, 2011 at 6am, I led a workshop at the Riverside office of PHP (People Helping People - www.myphpdream.com) one of the companies I've aligned myself with. I wasn't sure what the response would be, after all we were asking people to give themselves the morning of the first day of the year. Would people even show up? If so, how many? I was very surprised that over 40 people showed up. Isn't that amazing? That tells me that people are hungry to win, and some people are actually willing to get up and do something about it. Think about the prices some of those people paid to be there that morning. Going to bed early on New Years eve. One couple even brought their very little children. Are you willing to pay those kinds of prices to win this game called life?

Going back to the football memories, as I was running this morning, I remembered one of the cheers that the cheerleaders used to do. I don't remember everything, but there was this section where they would yell, "GO! FIGHT! WIN!" I think there's a formula for success there, so let's break this down.

1. GO! If you think about it this really is the first step, isn't it? Yes you should do some goal setting and figuring out what you want, but after all of that you must simply...GO! As Andy Andrews says, "The purpose of planning and analysis is not to do more planning and analyzing. The pupose of planning and analysis is to take action." I don't know what the correct amount of time for planning and analysis is, but I do know that the quicker you get in to implementation and action, the quicker you will learn through experience. Think about it...if you keep planning and changing directions right where you're standing, you may be looking in a different direction, but you're still standing on the same spot...you haven't gone anywhere. Gathering more information and knowledge is fine, but it doesn't necessarily lead to action. I know a lot of people with plenty of knowledge that never do anything. So knowledge doesn't lead to action, but action always leads to knowledge...even if that knowledge is, "I'll never do that again!" So just GO! Get after it, whatever it is. Getting moving before the fear has time to set in. JUST GO!

2. FIGHT! Now that you're going, now that you're actually in the game, what now? Well, FIGHT DAMN IT! Give it everything you've got. Life has a way of testing our commitments by throwing obstacles in front of us. These obstacles were given to us not to stop us but to help us become the man or woman we will need to become so that we can achieve the things we want to achieve. Consider this...when you start off from afar to reach the highest peak, it is clear in your sights. As you get closer, you will encounter a smaller hill that when you reach the bottom of that hill it will obscure your view of the peak. You have a choice at this point, to complain about this hill or get to the top of it. If you decide to take on this hill, when you get to the top two things will happen. The peak will come in to view again, first of all. The second thing is that you will have gained the experienced of climbing this hill, and become that much stronger. This experience and strength will prepare you for the next bigger hill, and that one will prepare you for the next one still. Your job is simply to keep taking the next hill, but you got to fight for it.

3. WIN! Finally if you do the first two you will win. Just win, baby! I think if you do the first two, you will always win. No regrets.

You know, Vince Lombardi once said, "The harder you work, the harder it becomes to give up." I think most of us have never gotten to that point, and that is why so many of us give up so easily. You see, at some point if you go far enough in the journey towards your dreams, you will eventually cross that line. That line is the point where you are closer to the dream than from where you started, and it makes no sense to turn around or stop. There is only one thing left to do, and that is to keep going. Think of the explorers who came to the "New World". Think of Christpher Columbus and his crew. At some point they were so far from home that it made no sense to go back...they'd die on their way back. The only choice they had once they crossed that line was to either get to the other side or die trying. Are you with me? Have you crossed that line? Well, what are you waiting for? Get busy! Get to that line as quickly as possible! Then get over that line! Then go all the way!

I wish for you the greatest of success in 2011, but mostly I wish for you the bigger hills to climb, because that let's me know that you're getting closer to your dreams. If you'd like, send me an email of your biggest goal for this year, and perhaps we can create a dialogue so that I can support you in reaching it. God bless, and until next time...

Live FREE!

What I've learned today.

Just a quick note on what I've learned today from my soon to be 2 years old son, Michael.

He's starting to talk, so it's really fun watching him interact with others. Obviously his tool box of words is quite limited, but do you think that stops him from getting things done? Absolutely not. He even mispronounces the limited words he has, but he still finds a way to get things done.

For example he says, "Mommy!" Sometimes it takes a bit to make out what he's saying. A little while ago he starting saying, "Mommy!" over and over again, a good two dozen times or more. Using just that one word along with a bit of body language and changes in tones he finally got his intended result...a cup of water (which he decided to share with me, by the way :)So what do you make of this?

Here's what I've learned today:
1. If I'm committed I'll find a way.
2. Communication is more about intention than it is about the right words or even saying them correctly.
3. Use what I've got. Even with the limited resources at his disposal he uses the heck out of it...combined with the commitment and intention to get it done the results happen.
4. Don't worry about what it looks like.

Great lessons going into the new year. Have fun, learn lots and until next time...

Live FREE!

How was it?

Well, another year is about to come to an end, and of course that means another one is about to begin. For about a decade, I've engaged in the practice of utilizing the last two weeks of the year to evaluate and then set new goals for the upcoming year. I've also read one of two books over and over again at this time of year as well. (If you'd like to receive my self-evaluation and assessment questions, goal setting questions and the two books I've read over and over again, just send me a comment or an email.)It's not about resolutions, it's about learning and growth. I think that this level of self assessment and evaluation has been invaluable for me.

For what it's worth, I hope that you had the best year of your life in 2010. I hope that you had a ton of challenging situations that called for and brought out the best in you, even more so than you thought was possible. I hope that you also had some major as well as minor victories this past year as well. Most importantly I hope that you gew this year as a human being, that you became more integrous, committed, determined, trustworthy and trusting, courageous and bold, confident, powerful and loving. I believe that if you grew in such a manner, no matter what the results of your life look like now, with that continued growth the results will eventually catch up to you. So whether you think 2010 was the greatest year of your life or the greatest bust I wish for you the best year of your life in 2011. May it bring great challenges and victories. May you exercise the courage to rise up and meet those challenges, and may you exercise the humility to accept those victories with gratitude. Mostly I wish for you love and joy! Happy new year!

Live FREE!

Messy, Messy, Messy...Perfect

I love being a dad. It's certainly one of the greatest joys that I've experienced in my life, and am grateful for it. It's also one of the best learning experiences I've been a part of, and quite frankly it's one of the most interesting experiments that I've conducted as well.

For me, I started with the premise that my job as a father is to provide my children with the best envrionment possible for learning and growth to occur, which in turn (hopefully) will have my children turn out to be highly contributing members of society who will do more good than harm and in the end will leave the planet a bit better for them having been here. The intention and premise are simple, and I've got to admit that the methodologies and practices can get a bit confusing and frustrating at times. Certainly those moments far out weigh the victories, but those moments of victory sure seem to make it all worthwhile.

Recently I've been dealing with my third child, Michael, who will be two years old in March of 2011, so he's about three months away from what many people call the "terrible two." I'm not sure that all children go through that, certainly I don't recall my other two children going through a period of "terribleness", but it does seem that Michael is a bit different than the other two. Okay he's a lot different. He's certainly much more independent and stubborn to boot. Then on top of that he gets loud, really loud when he doesn't get his way (think tantrum).

What I've determined about him, and perhaps you're like this as well, he learns by doing. In fact I think he likes the process of learning. He makes huge messes, but rather than observing and then doing, or even being instructed he just dives right in and starts at it. I'll admit, it gets MESSY. Like him feeding himself. It's funny, because I don't like messiness, I find myself constantly trying to take the spoon from him to feed him. He gets upset that I'm trying to take the spoon from him, and he cries and screams. Then I remind myself that it's good that he learns to feed himself, and the faster he's able to do it the easier it will be for me...but the mess I've got to clean up...ARGH!!

Sometimes it seems that the best thing a leader can do is allow the learning to occur, and simply create a safe envrionment for the learning to occur. So what am I talking about? Well in the learning to feed himself example my job is simply to allow him to make the mess and clean up after him. I may attempt to instruct him, but if he's not ready for the instruction then the only thing that'll happen is a fight. I allow the learning to happen. In the case of him climbing up the side of the bunk bed, rather than discourage the behavior, I simply hang out close enough so that should he fall I'm there to catch him. Interestingly enough, though, he gets stuck at times and asks for help, and when he does I assist him.

So how does all of this occur. Ultimately I think that what allows this learning envrionment to exist is the strength of relationship, and a foundation of trust. High trust creates strong relationships and this allows for learning to occur, because learning takes time and learning creates big messes and the endurance required to get through the big messes is the foundation of trust.

What does this have to do with anything...well I think a lot. Here's how I see it. There is the relationship we have others, and then there is that relationship we have with ourselves. If there's any validity to this theory that learning and ultimately growth requires a high trust envrionment, then it seems that for one to learn and grow oneself then one must have a high degree of trust in oneself. So why is it that so many people stop learning and growing as they grow older? Perhaps one reason is that they don't have very supportive environments for growth and learning to occur, but also it may be because they don't have a high degree of trust in oneself. How does one change that? Well, we'll talk about that some other time. Until next time...

Live FREE!