Love as a fundamental component of must be engaged as a verb not just some feeling you have. Until you take action and the results show up outside of you I would not call it love. Let's consider this... imagine for a moment that you have all these feelings of love for someone, but you do nothing about it and if they were asked if they felt loved by you they say they don't, is this love? If I say that I love my wife, but I do nothing for her and she doesn't feel loved by me, is this love? If I say I love you, but I continue to behave in ways that have you feel unloved, is this love? If I say I love my children, but I'm engaged in behavior that belittles them and has them feel small and insignificant, is this love? I can tell myself over and over again that I love someone or something, but ultimately I am not the judge of my love, someone else is. In the communication of love there is the transmitter and the receiver. As the transmitter of the message, it is up to me to send the message in a manner that makes sense to the receiver.
The flip side of this is if I love someone, then I make the effort to see the love in the things that person does for me. What does this mean? Well, I'm not in to somebody cooking for me, but I also get that some people express their love and affection by cooking for people. If I'm with someone who cooks for me as an expression of love, then I get to receive that show of love. I can certainly make some requests for things that I like, rather than the cooking thing, but just because the other person doesn't change their behavior for me doesn't mean the other person doesn't love me. They are simply expressing their love for me in a manner that makes sense for them. As the receiver of the transmission, it is up to me to decipher the coded message from the transmitter. Does this mean that I can decipher any message to be an expression of love? Yes, and we'll talk more about that when we discuss responsibility.
What about loving oneself? Let's think it through. In the case of loving oneself, then I am both the transmitter and receiver. If I say I love myself, but am not taking care of myself and doing things to harm myself, then ultimately the message I'm sending and receiving from myself would not be one of love, would it?
What about the love of things? Again, if I love the game of football, then I will be in action about it, watching it, playing it, coaching it, etc. If I love cars, then I gain possession of them, work on them, drive them. There is something being done on my part regarding the thing I love that would be evidence beyond mere talk. How do you know if someone "loves" their work, they are engaged in it with a level of passion that almost anyone who witnesses it would agree.
Ultimately love like many other things that we simply have as emotions is about much more than just emotions. It's about the corresponding actions and the results of those actions, isn't it? So what do you love? Look at what you do? Love unexpressed could hardly be called love. Love is only love when the expression of that love is made, and it is gotten by someone other than just you. So if you love someone or something, the question isn't whether or not you feel love, the question is can they feel your love? Consider this, until they get it, it isn't.
Until next time...
Live FREE!
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