The vast majority of thought processes goes something like this: I'm not happy, and the reason I'm not happy is because something is missing in my life. Therefore I need to have that something, and once I have that something then I will be happy.
Here's another one: I'm not successful because I don't have these things in my life. Therefore, I need to accumulate these things, and once I have accumulated these things then I will be successful. What are some of these things? How about a certain level of income, a house, a house in the "right" neighborhood, a title at work, number of books published, a degree from school, etc.
Sounds pretty normal, doesn't it? After all it's that something that is the cause of our feelings therefore if I have that or don't have that then that will change how I feel. Life is for the vast majority of people a cause and effect scenario, a series of "if...then" statements. What if the premise was off? What if the premise that it's the thing that causes the experience was inaccurate to begin with? I mean let's think this through. Some people think a certain type of car will have them feel successful or significant, yet we all know that there was a time when cars did not exist. Did all of those people who lived before cars existed feel unsuccessful or insignificant? Probably not, right? In fact the whole idea is absurd, isn't it?
Now you may be thinking that it doesn't make sense for a car, but it does make sense for other things. So let's just test it out? Think of whatever it is that you think you need to have you feel better. Consider the possibility now that you may feel better, but everyone else may or may not feel any better. No, really! So is it the thing or is it that, for whatever reason, you've given that thing enough value in your life that it can have an effect on how you feel? I'll never forget this one time during one of my seminars when a woman was absolutely unconvinced, and said what about Disneyland? I said something like, "Believe it or not some people hate Disneyland." She would not believe me, but then some of the other participants were of the opinion that Disneyland was the worst place in the world. (By the way, I love Disneyland!)
So what am I saying, that it's wrong to want and desire things ouside of you? Not at all. Want everything you want as long as it doesn't infringe on others getting what they want or hurting others in the process of getting what you want. Just be aware that the thing you want may or may not give you the experience that you're looking for, and if it does it usually only lasts for a short while. Especially be careful of being caught in the trap that somehow something outside of you will complete you, make you whole.
Did you ever see that movie Jerry Maguire? As romantic as people thought it was to have Tom Cruise say to Renee Zellweger, "You complete me.", the thought of it is pretty ominous, that I need someone else to complete me. And think of the pressure the other person must feel that they must complete you. How about this thought, you are whole and complete and nothing and no one added can make you more than you are and nothing or no one taken away can make you less than you are. Think about that. If you start with the premise that you are incomplete, you'll never get to complete. The premise and the thought will never allow your completion to occur. You can't be more of what you already are, and you can't be less of what you already are. Now go and enjoy life, all of it the ups, the downs, the good times, the struggles...all of it. Oh, and get everything you want out of life. Until next time...
Live FREE!
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