Attraction, relationship, influence, persuasion and leadership

Have you ever noticed children at play? It's always fascinating to me to go to the park with my children and watch how it is that children make friends, play with eachother and part ways saying "My new friend..." when the likelihood of them ever seeing eachother is pretty slim.

Recently, I was at the park with my children, and I noticed a few things about how my children attract other children and how that leads to all kinds of opportunities for play. Let me start by saying that my son Payton and my daughter Grace are nothing alike when it comes to personality. They are very different, yet in terms of attraction, influence, persuasion and leadership they are both very effective.

We'll start with Grace, my four year old. Grace approaches other kids and simply starts up a conversation. She'll say something like, "Hi! Let's play!" or "Hi, I'm Grace, what's your name?" The other day we were at a Toys R Us, she was sitting in a pink Cadillac Escalade Power Wheel (This doesn't bode well for my future), saw another girl walking by and said, "Hi, come sit next to me!" It's certainly more traditional, and there are times when she hears the word NO. (She doesn't like it, by the way, which creates great teachable moments! :) ) Once the relationship is established what I've noticed is that not only does she influence the other kids, but they also influence her as well. This leads to persuasion and leadership at its most basic level.

Payton is very different. He doesn't care to make friends. What he does is generate a ton of energy. He engages in whatever he is doing at such a level that his energy simply attracts other kids. Not always, but more often than not. He very rarely hears the word NO, because he's not really out to make friends. His level of energy simply creates the opportunity for relationship. Once this occurs the possibility of influence, persuasion and leadership is created as well.

Both approaches work, and neither were taught. They're both simply being themselves. How would you like to know the key to leadership, persuasion and influence? Ultimately before you can lead, persuade or influence anyone you must relate. In order for you to relate with others you must be relate-able/approachable/attractive. It seems to me that attractive people are people who are comfortable in their own skin.

My kids as well as almost all children are attractive not simply because they're so cute, but they don't know how not to be comfortable with themselves. Of course we as a society will do our best to have them be totally uncomfortable with themselves as they reach adulthood, as so many of us have experienced. But rather than learning a bunch of new techniques and skills, perhaps what's truly required is simply to remember. Remember that we're okay. Remember that we have tremendous value, not because of anything we can do, but simply because we are people. Without getting in to sounding too hoaky, consider this for today...you are enough.

Until next time...

Live FREE!