Pick-up football game

A few months ago I found myself involved in a pick-up game of football with some members of my Church. Have you ever noticed how these seemingly insignificant situations create an environment which brings out certain instincts in people? I'll admit to you, I have this ridiculously competitive side to me. It doesn't matter if it's a board game with friends or video games with my kids, what kicks in for me is "WIN!!!! WHATEVER IT TAKES...WIN!!!!" It was no different on that day. Although the body no longer responds the way it used to when I was 20, the competitive fire in me still burns unbelievably hot. Which created the perfect environment for me to learn some lessons about life that I feel compelled to share with you.

1. Have an outcome in mind. Obviously my outcome was to win. Because of this desired outcome I was strategizing and planning. I once read an article in a golf publication that suggested you play for money the next time you're out on the course. The premise was that even if you had just a dollar or two on the line, because the stakes were higher your concentration level would go up. I think that this is quite valid. Which would have you...

2. Gather information and figure out what your resources are, utilize the information to formulate a strategy and execute. Very quickly I figured out who on my team could catch, run, etc. Once that information was gathered I knew who would be my go-to people and who would be playing more supportvie roles. During a pick-up game? Of course. Why would I go to such great lengths during a pick-up game? The actions I was taking were being dictated by the desired outcome.

3. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. As much as I wanted to perform, the reality of the situation was that I am no longer in the kind of shape that allows me to do what I want to. Perhaps it has something to do with age, but it certainly has a whole lot to do with simply being out of shape. Perhaps you have great dreams and desires in life, but what you may be missing are skill sets. That's certainly possible, and brings me to the next point...

4. If you're committed you'll find a way. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. As a result of that day, I decided to get back in to shape. Now I may never get back to the level of fitness I had at 22, but I can get to the best possible level for me at 42. It's amazing that once I made the decision to get back in shape, how easy it was to find the time to do it. Whereas before I could never find the time, but I could always find excuses. :) So the questions I have for you are...

In life are you playing to win or just playing? Are you utilizing your resources? Do you need to improve your skill sets or even take on new ones? and Finally, are you committed or just involved?

There's more, but we'll save those for some other time. Until next time...

Live FREE!

Understanding before action?

In my last blog I talked a bit about syntax and the ordering together of things and related that to commitment first and handling the considerations or circumstances second. Essentially the idea is that without the commitment circumstances will always seem too big to handle; however, with commitment you can work out almost any set of circumstances.

One of the circumstances or considerations that people usually have in not taking new action is that they want to understand something before they do it. Sometimes they want to know if there is another way to do it. To give you an example, let's say you came to me and wanted coaching on becoming a great public speaker. More than likely I'd say something like, "Great, let's go jump out of an airplane, go skydiving!" You might think I'm crazy and ask me how skydiving has anything to do with public speaking. You'd want a rational explanation of how the process works or gain some understanding to the methodology first. Completely understandable and completely reasonable. I'm not so nuts that I think your thought process is unreasonable, but in my mind that's exactly the issue, it's reasonable. It's this line of reasonable thinking that has people stuck. They want something to make sense to them before they take new action. Well let's think about this completely irrational yet reasonable thinking process that many people think is rational.

You've never been good at something, so you go to someone who is good at something to get coaching. They give you coaching and you question the coaching. You even go so far as to believe that it won't work. Perhaps you will say something to me like, "No I just want you to teach me what to do with my hands, make sure I'm not moving them too much, and count how many times I say 'Um' and 'Uh' and 'Ah'. Can we just do that?" (I've actually had these conversations, by the way) This all begs the question in my mind, "How in the world would you even have any clue as to what works or doesn't work or what you need or don't need, when you aren't any good at what you want to get good at and that's why you sought out coaching in the first place?" Are you with me? Most people think that reasonable and rational are the same things. Clearly they are not! Is it perhaps that you are using the reasonable "understanding" conversation simply to mask your fears? After all what I'm asking you to do doesn't fit in to that little box of thinking you have, and perhaps breaking through those fears is exactly what is wanted and needed, much more important than any new skills you could learn.

Here's what I've learned and experienced. Do it first and then the understanding will come. What I've also learned and experienced with people is that if someone is committed to an outcome, then they really don't care about how to get it done; they just do it. They don't stop to understand why they should do something; they just do it. The ones who've succeeded in working with me are the ones who move at the speed of coaching. I say jump and they just start jumping. I think the ones who are truly committed to an outcome are that coachable. Are you that committed to an outcome or are you just giving it lip service? I know if you're committed or not simply by how quickly you respond to new direction. If you're moving as the words are coming out of my mouth, you're committed. If you're attempting to understand before taking action, I know that you're not. It's that black and white from my perspective.

Perhaps the understanding will never come, but the results will. In which case how important is the understanding? Does it really matter? Do you want the understanding or the results? I don't fully understand how a lot of things work, but I enjoy the results. As someone very wise once told me, "Knowledge doesn't necessarily lead to action, but action will always lead to knowledge!"

Until next time...

Live FREE!

Syntax

From Wikipedia: In linguistics, syntax (from Ancient Greek σύνταξις "arrangement" from σύν syn, "together", and τάξις táxis, "an ordering") is the study of the principles and rules for constructing sentences in natural languages.

Basically what I'm getting at here is the ordering together of things, not necessarily language. There are certain things when done in the correct order work out very well, yet when not done in order they don't seem to work out at all. Just as an example you could have all of the ingredients for a cake, but there's an order in which things must be done. Makes sense, right? You need to put the ingredients together and then put it in the oven. Sounds incredibly simple, doesn't it?

However, what I've noticed with people is that when it comes to commitment they usually want to work out the details before they commit. Try to tell me you don't live this way? Have you ever noticed that things never seem to work themselves out just right so that you can get to the goals you want to achieve? Well, consider the possibility that the circumstances and situations and challenges of your life will never work themselves out for you. It's not personal. Life is not out to get you. It's just doing what life does.

What am I saying? It's never a question of the circumstances and considerations working themselves out, it's always a question of "ARE YOU TRULY COMMITTED?" I would go so far as to say that until you get committed to what you want, you'll never handle your circumstances. However, haven't you also had the experience of just saying to yourself I'm gonna do whatever it takes, no matter what, and then handling the challenges. Haven't you looked back and asked yourself, how did I do that? Well it seems to me that when one is truly committed amazing things happen. At a level of commitment called "BE AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!" miraculous things can start to happen. Would you like to experience miracles in your life? GET COMMITTED!

"But when I said that nothing had been done I erred in one important matter. We had definitely committed ourselves and were halfway out of our ruts. We had put down our passage money--booked a sailing to Bombay. This may sound too simple, but is great in consequence. Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!"

-W. H. Murray in The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951.

Until one is committed, even in the best of circumstances, they see nothing but obstacles and reasons why something won't work. However, someone in the same set of circumstances when truly committed will see opportunity after oportunity and reasons why it will work. So are you committed or just involved? If you keep seeing obstacles...well you know the answer. Perhaps what your dreams need from you right now is for you to simply draw that line in the sand, step over and never look back!

Until next time...

Live FREE!